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......Do you have a diffifult time saying "no" to people who continually ask things of you? Do you often feel put down, manipulated or used by others? When you become angry do you pretend you're really not upset (passive) or go off the deep end and resemble "Attila the Hun" (aggressive)?

If this describes your typical responses then you may want to work on becoming more assertive. Assertiveness is a natural style of responding that is direct, honest, and respectful of others. There are, of course, other styles of responding that feel natural and comfortable, but often these styles can create problems in our relationships, business dealings, and social interactions.

Assertiveness demands emotional honesty. This means we need to accept responsibility for our own feelings, thoughts and behaviors. It also means respecting the rights and oppinions of others, even when we disagree. This mutual respect of ourself and others is the beginning of learning how to effectively resolve conflicts and improve relationships with others.

Developing assertiveness is more than just learning to talk differently. It requires thinking assertively, feeling confident, and behaving positively. The rewards for assertiveness or assertive behavior include:

* Gaining self-esteem (being honest and clear).

* Gaining confidence (experiencing more success).

* Asking for what you want.

* Being more likely to get your needs met.

* Being able to stand up for yourself.

* Refusing requests without feeling guilty.

* Becoming more flexible with yourself and others.

* Taking responsibility for and admit mistakes.

* Being respected by yourself and others.

* Promoting your own personal growth.

Assertive people seem to enjoy themselves more and are respected and valued by others. Developing positive assertive behaviors can mean the difference in creating personal success and making things happen for you.

Psychological Consultants and Affiliates, Inc.

60 Messimer Drive, Newark, Ohio  43055

Phone 740-522-2230, 800-522-2457

Fax 740-522-6230


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